So here goes...
Blog Name:
Saving Grace - couple of reasons for this...
1) Grace is the middle name of our baby girl on the way
2) Saving Grace is the name of a Bob Dylan song...see our baby names below.... ;-)
Two reasons why we're doing this:
1) Dylan Cash
2) Kaylan Grace
These are our babies. Well, our babies that haven't been born yet. I'm currently 23 weeks pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl. We went through a lot to get here, but here we are, over half way through the pregnancy.
About 4 weeks ago, my biggest obstacle in life was deciding what kind of crib would look best in the nursery and what color I should paint the walls. My how things change. At our 20 week visit with our Perintologist, it was discovered that Kaylan was not growing normally. Structurally and chromosomally, she was fine. But, she was incredibly small and it appeared she hadn't grown in a few weeks. The doctor was very concerned and scared the living bejesus (that's a word, right), out of us about her survival. He said that if she didn't start growing, that she might not make it and there was just nothing they could do about it. Not the thing you want to hear from your doctor. That was on April 8th. We had to wait an incredibly LONG and GRUELING 2 1/2 weeks until our next appt to see if she had made any progress. By the way, Dylan is growing and is right on track. Praise God for that!
Fast forward to April 26th for the follow up. Kaylan was still very small and still very far behind. She was only 8 oz and Dylan was measuring 1 lb and 3 oz. On the previous visit, she was 6 oz, so she had grown, but only 2 more oz. So, Dylan is twice as big as her. Things were not looking good. The follow up visit was a very rough visit. We did NOT get any sort of glimmer of hope or encouragement or compassion from our doctor. He was highly insensitive and made us feel like we needed to go ahead and start the grieving process. He basically rushed us out of the room while I was standing there in tears in my husband's arms. Bad. Doctor. Never to see him again.
Thanks to the nudging of Landon and my mom, I made some calls to get a second opinion and start seeing another Perintologist. Whether the bad doctor's diagnosis was right or not, I was not about to be treated like this from him anymore. So, by the grace of God, another recommended doctor had an appointment opening the next day at 10 a.m. at Plano Presby Hospital. Wow, what a difference a doctor makes!
With the new doctor, the diagnosis was basically the same - things don't look great...she's very small and that's a big concern. BUT, there's no reason to give up hope until there's no hope to be had. I also communicated to this doctor our expectation of him as far as the way he relayed information to us. I told him that she may just be a fetus to him, but she's our daughter. She has a first name and a last name and we do NOT want him to talk to us like she's already dead. I also told him that I expected him to talk to me like I was his wife or his daughter and to speak with compassion and sensitivity. A dear friend gave me that advice and I'm so glad we communicated that to him upfront.(Thanks Megan). It made all the difference in the world when he was speaking with us.
At the end of the day, we still have to wait and see if she continues to grow. Hopefully she will. Obviously, the longer I can carry her and the bigger she gets, the better chance she has for survival outside of the womb.
I'm not on doctor ordered bed rest or anything but when I'm at home, I'm supposed to be resting and taking it easy. I have THE BEST husband in the world and he takes care of my every need....dinner, groceries...laundry...you name it...he's on it. Such a sweet blessing to have him in my life.
I need to also acknowledge our AMAZING friends and family who have so diligently and faithfully lifted us up in prayer over the last few weeks. We have been bathed in encouraging letters, phone calls, texts, emails, cards, visits, etc. It's been a very special time for us even in spite of the difficult circumstances. In fact, there's been several people that we don't even know that have heard about what's going on (through friends, or family and what not) and have sent hopeful messages and encouraging notes as well. We've really seen Jesus in people lately :) Thank you to everyone who has, and continues to lift up our babies to the Lord. We'll take all the prayers we can get!
Our next appt is May 12th. So until then...prayers for GROWTH!!!
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