Something missing...

Tuesday night, 8:45 p.m. - Dylan is snoozing, Landon is watching Ranger game, I'm getting bottles ready for the night...but I just can't get my mind off my sweet Kaylan. It is so hard to have one baby at home and one in the hospital. It'd be one thing if they were a little closer together in terms of progress....Unfortuntately, she still has some hurdles to get over. It's amazing how quickly I forget what all she's come through already. When I was at the hospital today, and she still wasn't interested in the bottle, I became very discouraged. The occupational therapists reminded me that she's been laying on her back and hooked up to machines for over 2 months now and she's still weak. It's like I see that she got to 4 pounds and I expect her to do all the things Dylan did at that size. They told us that when she started to bottle feed that she would either act her age, or her size....seems she's acting her size (which is about a 31 weeker at this point). That tells me she's still has at least a few more weeks in the hospital.

I laugh when I hear nurses say "she's sooo big"...ha! It's all relative I guess. She was about the size of a coke can at birth...now she just looks like a little petite peanut. I just love her so much and I'm so sad when I can't spend more time with her. At the same time, I absolutely HATE leaving Dylan. Landon is going back to work tomorrow after being off for 10 days. He's been an AMAZING help at home and I'm going to miss having him home during the days...that also means that our visits to the hospital will now be less often because I will be staying home with Dylan while Landon works...and we don't want to take Dylan to the hospital during the day or night...We do, however, have some awesome friends who will be helping out in the evenings while we go see her at night.

I could use some extra prayers this week for endurance to keep running this race...we're tired and we want Kaylan home...but we want her home, HEALTHY and ready. Because right now, something is missing at home.