And while I am so happy, I cannot stop questioning "what if?" What if God had decided to take one of these angels? What if God's plan was different than ours and had different plans for one, or both of these babies? What if things had turned out differently?
Now, I know we have been given 2 miracle babies. Praise God for that! He has blessed us beyond belief. He has been so faithful. But, could I sit here and say how incredible God has been in this process, if His plans did not line up with our plans? A few years ago, before God started really working in me, I would have to admit my faith was in getting what I asked for. If I did not get what I prayed for, either I was doing something wrong, or God wasn't the all-good, all-powerful that He claims to be. He has graciously stretched and grown me to a point that my faith is now in HIM, and not in the outcome. That is a difficult place to get to, but it is such an amazing place. I can honestly say that if things would have turned out different, my faith would only have been rattled, not destroyed.
I have learned that when my faith is in Him, and not the outcome, I can handle anything (don't always want to, but can). So I thank God for all the times my prayers have NOT been answered the way that I wanted them answered. Thank God for my Kaylan and Dylan. Miracles that came in His timing, not ours. May we continue to be open to His plan, and not ours, throughout this journey . May He continue to be faithful, but may we continue to see Him leading the way, not just providing the outcome!!
4 comments:
I was thinking the exact same thing today as I was reliving the day from yesterday!! I of course can't say how I would have felt, I'm just glad we weren't put to that test!!
I was talking to my friend today about all of our excitement yesterday and we were talking about that same thing and she said, "I can't even begin to think about that or how what you would do in that situation...I'm still trying to wrap my head around a baby that's small enough to fit a wedding ring on it's arm...it's so amazing." I was thinking of that a little more and the other pictures of her compared to the size of your hand and I imagined that if you were to hold that sweet little thing, she would probably fit right in your hand!!! How can such a big miracle fit in such a tiny package? Then it occurred to me, if we were to have a photo of us truly resting in the hands of our Father, that would have to be what it looks like because He is so so big and in comparison we are so so small!! But I bet as He looks down on us He thinks the same thing...what wonderful little miracles in such small packages, and then He loves us with a love that we cannot begin to fathom so much that He would send us a tiny glimpse of Him and us in us and Kaylan!! It blows my mind!! He is sooo good!!
I Love Y'all!!
Jasie
We found out at about 8 weeks that my girls were very rare. Monoamniotic twins have a 40-50% survvival rate - depending on what horrible data you read. Lots of things I read suggested terminating the pregnancies. Luckily, I had a wonderful Christian doctor who told me from the beginning that my babies were not in my hands & they were not in his hands - they were in His hands. So lots & lots of up & downs later, my girls were born. In the NICU, a very sweet nurse said to me, "your babies are so sweet - God just made them be born at the wrong time." I corrected her immediately - "God made my babies be born at the PERFECT time." It was His plan, His timing. Thank you for sharing your story. Yesterday, to me, the reason your babies were born was so that I could remember our own story & hug my girls a little tighter. I am praying for the babies to grow stronger with each day. I am also praying for you to continue to know peace in the chaos.
You don't know me, but i work with your mom. I have been praying for your little babies and for you. The beauty of having a child is experiencing the kind of love God has for us. It is amazing! He wants to give you hope and a future full of joy. We will keep praying for you and the little ones. In His Hands, Tanya
Jenner & Landon...
You two look radiant! I cannot imagine how happy, grateful, blessed, relieved, and thankful you must be. I've thought about this whole situation, and all I can really say is, God is so faithful, and DOES STILL PERFORM MIRACLES! "FOR THIS CHILD I PRAYED", keeps coming to my mind. That, we all did, but I know you two stayed in constant prayer. You have remained faithful, and you see the outcome of not wavering...You are going to be awesome parents. You have already proven that!! These little guys, I like to call THE TWINCE AND THE TWINCESS, are very blessed to have you two as their parents. Jenner, you did such a great job getting them here...Landon, you did such a great job of supporting her all the way! I can't wait to actually see them, hold them, love them, and see what God has planned for their lives. Sit back and relax now, THE BEST IS YET TO COME!
Love you!
Kathy
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